Monday, August 28, 2006

Onwards

I just got back from Greenbelt, which was fascinating and deserves its own post to fully unpack, however that's not what I want to address here.

On the way home, riding in the car with Jim, I was thinking about the end of Greenbelt, and the end of the summer and it really struck me for the first time that my time in England is at an end as well. Which then caused me to think back two years ago and to my first impressions of the England and its people. I thought about what a blank canvas I was then with regard to this new culture and how much I have learned and grown in 2 short years. And suddenly a feeling of panic struck me as though I didn't want to leave, because 'this is my home!' And it's true, it does feel like home, however I realized that feeling was less authentic than it seemed. I think closer to the truth is the fact that I am unsure of what is next for me, whereas my current position is known and comfortable. It was more of a gut reaction to change than an actual desire to remain in the UK. Having said that, I certainly will miss this country and the friends I have made here. I think this evening was the first time I began to mourn the eventual and inevitable loss of these people from my life.

5 comments:

Kyle said...

Yes. It sucks. I didn't like it. I don't like it.

On the bright side, when you make it back to North America, you can visit Kentucky. :0)

Anonymous said...

Now I could possibly feel sorry for you if it was still 1960 and you could only occasionally get in touch using filmsy blue air-mail letters that folded twice and glued at the edges.

But guys this is 2006! You can read blogs everyday, email in a minute, call on phone cards for a few cents, and fly on cheap air tickets for long weeknds.

So while it's touching to see the 'sensitive, modern male', there are no violins playing at this end. Especially when you are the ones who left to experience all this in the first place.

Chris you will be welcomed home by many friends/family and your world will be much bigger forever more.

Chris said...

And I would argue that in the 1960s they would say "At least you guys have air mail! Back in the 1880's all we had were ships and railroads! It took months to get anything across the ocean!"

While I will not deny that the world is more 'closely' connected now than it ever has been, I still believe that there is no substitute for personal, daily interaction, and that's what I will be missing

Anonymous said...

And when you return, it will end the two years of missing you while you've been gone from here. We too like daily interaction with you!

richard said...

Dude,
It does suck. But it it is what it is. And if you don't come back and visit us then dagnamit, we're just going to have to go to Canada and find you...

At GB you made me realise just how big and tall a hole you are about to leave in Oxford.

We'll miss you. God speed you tall and beautiful man.

PS, my word verification word was EBSUKK. Use it in a sentence.