The disconnect

EDIT: I think this entry came out more sappy than I originally intended. The point I was trying to make was not 'woe is me, I've never been in a serious relationship' but rather the difficulty of understanding and connecting to other people with regard to this, in my mind, rather monumentous topic.

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A quick disclaimer -- this one is going to be a bit raw, so if you're not into awkward emotions, it's probably best you just skip it...

All right, so this is something I have thought about for a while now, but just feel compelled to write about tonight, for some odd reason:

I don't think I've ever been in love. I've certainly never had a serious relationship. And I feel subhuman because of it.

And the hardest part of this whole situation is that there's virtually no one to talk to about it. I mean, almost everybody has been in a serious relationship at some point in their lives, so when I try to share this sentiment with people, I get the typical responses of "Oh, it's not that big of a deal," or "it's not as important as you make it out to be." This advice is, of course, quite useless to me. It's all well and good for someone who's been there to make a judgement call about it, but after having experienced such a thing, I have noticed that it is very difficult for people to imagine never having had the experience in the first place. Do you get what I'm saying? What I mean is, it's easy for a person who's been in a relationship to say that it's not important, because at least they have had one and have experienced all the things that go with it. They don't know what it's like to not have that, and the fact is I have never experienced all of that and it makes me feel like I'm missing out on a big aspect of being human. Since these other people have already been through all of this, they don't have the same sense of not belonging, because even if they're single now, they've done it all at least once before in the past.

I urge you to really, seriously, consider this. I imagine that the majority of people who read this entry will have had been in a relationship at some point in their lives. Whoever you are, where ever you are reading this, I ask you to think of these important relationships with others and then to imagine that they had never happened. Imagine all those moments you shared together were erased and that you had never learnt how to compromise and exist with regard to another human being. You've never looked deep into the eyes of someone you cared about and then kissed them. You've never woken up next to someone who chose to sleep beside you. You've never droned on about stupid crap because another person was genuinely interested in absolutely everything you've had to say. In your mind, get rid of all of that but try to keep who you are as a person. And then try to imagine talking to people about such things. It kinda sucks sometimes...